


I'll Stay

by kate_kane24



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, renjihime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 10:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8397661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_kane24/pseuds/kate_kane24
Summary: Renjihime drabbleIchigo/RukiaChad/Tatsuki





	

Watching them was hard, but it was all he could do now. It broke his heart, but he'd long since given up on dulling the pain of it. He'd tried so hard to take the high road on this at the start. He's smiled at the right times and always made sure he laughed the loudest; he tried to be that person that was happy just because she was happy but at the end of the day it seemed like he didn't have what it took to be that type of guy.

It killed him, really. Made him feel empty. Made him feel cold, like a ball of ice was melting slowly somewhere right behind his sternum. He could deal with it though; eventually, he figured he'd go numb. He prayed it would be soon.

Watching Orihime watch Rukia and Ichigo, though- that just made him feel sick. Her skin had taken on that pallor that chronically ill people had and she'd slowly moved from a warm presence in the interior of the group to a silent partner on it's outskirts. He hardly ever saw her laugh anymore and when she smiled it was only for Ishida or Tatsuki or Chad; even then it never really reached her eyes.

He'd pulled Ishida aside once a few weeks ago and asked him what was wrong, even though he already knew and Ishida knew that he already knew. Ishida had given him an answer anyways, though, narrowing his eyes and looking ready to spit.

"Are you blind? Renji, she's been in love with Kurosaki since middle school and he's never once even looked in her direction. And that was before Rukia. How do you think she feels now? She follows him around like a lost puppy and has to watch him look at Rukia the way that she's always dreamed he'd look at her and it kills her."

Renji was pulled out of his day dream by the soul shattering sound of Rukia laughing. He pushed up his sunglasses and saw Ichigo doing an impression of her trying to put something called a straw inside something called a juicebox. His eyes were screwed up and his tongue was sticking out, a look of mock concentration on his face as Rukia held her sides and chortled with delight. He had Chad and Tatsuki in stitches too; even Ishida was smiling. There was really only one person who wasn't.

Orihime sat with her back to a tree staring into space through her long copper hair. Renji watched her blank expression as she picked off her powder blue nail polish with slim, delicate fingers. Ishida was right; she wasn't herself anymore. Neither was he, though. Neither was anyone. They'd been through hell. It'd all brought Rukia and Ichigo together. It'd brought Tatsuki and Chad together. All it had done to Renji was pull him apart.

He was really damn tired of feeling pulled apart. The emptiness inside him that couldn't be filled, the nightmares that woke him up sweating and screaming in the middle of the night- he couldn't take it anymore. He loved his friends, he really did, but the truth was he was so jealous of them it made him ache. They all had people to turn to in their dark moments. He had no one. 

He didn't feel guilt because of the jealousy anymore, though. He'd come to terms with that. He would do anything for Rukia. Hell, he knew he wouldn't hesitate to lay down his life for Ichigo. The man had earned Renji's loyalty the moment he'd shown his dedication to rescuing Rukia, regardless of how high a price was paid for that allegiance. Renji had tried and failed and it was a shame he had to lay down to sleep with every night and wake up with every day. He'd attained bankai and it'd taken everything he had to even graze Captain Kuchiki. All he could do, in the end, was run away with Rukia. Even then, all Aizen had to do was snap his fingers and she was gone.

But that was in the past and this was now and here he was with a broken heart listening to another man make her laugh and brush the hair out of her eyes in a way he never would. Maybe he just needed some distance. Maybe he just needed some time. Maybe he just needed to go back to the Seireitei and beat the shit out of someone from Squad 11 until he was bloody and too tired to stand. Or, maybe, he just needed to leave. Rukia laughed again, this time at something Ishida said, and Renji's legs were moving before his brain even gave the command.

He got up silently, trying not to draw attention to himself, and brushed his ponytail back over his shoulder. He grabbed his bag and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt against the dry summer heat. He took a deep breath, turned his back on the day and, as he walked away, held out his hand to Orihime without looking at her. He felt her take it, throw her own bag over her shoulder, then get up.

He felt the question on the tip of Rukia's tongue, almost ready to be spilled out into the open air. The atmosphere thickened around them as the pair walked away hand in hand but no one said anything. Renji could picture Ishida smiling into his neatly packed lunch.

"Orihime?" Renji felt her stiffen against him as Ichigo's voice echoed off the trees, but she didn't break stride. He admired her for that. He wasn't sure he would have been able to do the same. As they turned onto the worn concrete path out of the school's courtyard Ishida's voice was hardly audible; "Let her go, idiot," he said.

The pair of them walked out past the front of the school. Orihime's hand was soft and small against his own calloused palm. It felt warm. It felt comfortable, the way Zabimaru felt in his grip before a fight: a perfect fit. The comparison sprang to his mind unbidden and made his gut tumble. He looked away from her, before she saw him blush.

"You don't have to go," Orihime said quietly, breaking the silence. Renji rubbed the back of his head with his free hand, looked down at her, and for the first time in weeks Rukia was pushed out of his mind. His gut tumbled again as Orihime cocked her head and looked at him, blinking slowly. He could feel something, like a knot coming loose in his chest. Renji didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want her to be alone. They both deserved more.

"Yeah, ok," he said softly. He acted on impulse and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'll stay".


End file.
